Non Sequiturs + Other Quasi-Funny Stuff #2

During the 2012 Summer Olympics, an online media outlet posted the following tease and link:

(Remember, since NBC was broadcasting the major events via tape delay, news reports provided spoiler warnings.)

Shocking result in big swimming showdown
Michael Phelps and Ryan Lochte square off in the most anticipated duel of the Olympic Games. SPOILER ALERT
Phelps barely qualifies

Correct me if I’m wrong … but this info precisely spoils the drama!

Phelps was the dominant athlete at the 2008 Games, winning a record eight gold medals, so he’s the focus of this London 2012 showdown. But then the link spoils it royally: We can deduce that Phelps swam worse than expected — no Einsteinian logic needed — and we’re also told outright that he qualified, albeit barely.

If he hadn’t qualified, that would have been a colossal shock — far more shocking than the “shocking result” this tease doesn’t exactly conceal. Spoiler-wise, readers know the key news without clicking a link.

More accurately, the tease could have read: ALREADY SPOILED ALERT!

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